these little last summer days...

love is a place

& through this place of
love move
(with brightness and peace)
all places

yes is a world

& this world of

yes live

(skillfully curled)

all worlds

e.e. cummings

enjoy!

(image from atonement~the film)

birthday girl

i've a birthday this weekend, on saturday. i love birthdays...

tintin sent me a copy of an email that i sent last year, where i mentioned what my birthday doings are. it was a really nice surprise to read my own words a year later.

when i was a girl i was good friends with a friend of my mother's. sounds strange i know, but she was like a big sister to me. once she said to me that i was going to make myself crazy by thinking so much.

sometimes i consider myself a philosopher, a poet and storyteller. we think about things.

but not so much this birthday weekend. it's kind of frivolous in the best way.

1. i'll let the hair stylist do my hair
2. manicure in pedicure in soft pink nail colour
3. dinner party with friends tonight
4. dinner with f. from rome tomorrow. friends for 8 years. i want to hear about his venician holidays
5. dinner and a show on friday... (ok i'm a foodie)
6. and back to my old neighborhood in brooklyn on saturday. there happens to be a block party on the very day of my birthday. actually they have this party every year. if my birthday happens to fall on a saturday then it is the same day as this party. it's nice. lots of us who grew up in the neighborhood come back and laugh and joke about being kids and growing up. it's a nice trip down memory lane. and i think my first boyfriend will be there. i haven't seen him since i was 19 years old.

i can still remember being that 16 year old, lost on my way to the sat exams in the rain, and he helped me find my way. we introduced ourselves and found our way to the exam. he waited for me afterward. i think it did not take a rocket scientist to figure that he fancied me.

after, it will be nice to venture into manhattan after this journey back in time. if i give in to myself i'll have oysters and white wine for dinner. i love the idea of stepping back in time, remembering the girl i was. as well as enoying white wine over dinner with people i love.

it's wednesday and my birthday is on saturday. my mom celebrates birthdays the whole month. for example she'll call early august and say...'you have a birthday this month.' and the little festivities begin. i didn't start so early because of the repairs. but even a new to me living space is a wonderful gift. and now is a good time as ever to begin.

thinking of you. i appreciate your presence. and knowing, though many of us have never met and we don't know one another. still in the privacy of our blogs, we very often share sides of ourselves that we don't easily share with persons we do know. funny how that works.

sounds at home

home is where the heart is... the heart also makes a wonderful home.

music at home. have you listened to any good music lately? i recently bought music by enrique iglesias. hold on, just one moment...

only in my humble opinion, i don't have a sense that his music is deeply good (how's my english?). but i've given into something... his voice.

there's something in his voice that gets me. has this ever happened to you? a voice, a look, a gesture touches you?

i'm undone

hello there. it's saturday morning and the sky is big, cloudless and blue, and it's a beautiful cool morning here after rain storms yesterday. as i didn't bring my umbrella yesterday i ducked under an awning and watched the down pour. it's really nice when nature seems to put a stop to our doings and we are kind of forced to be still, and watch the rain fall.

there was a pregnant lady standing beside me in a pretty red dress with tiny white flowers. she stood there too watching the rain fall, and i thought of the wee one inside her wondering if s/he could hear the rain from in there.

i'd hoped the fixings here in the apartment would be completed by now. almost, but not quite. i am undone by the nice job they have done. the walls are clean and inviting, like a blank canvas. if only i could invite monet in to do a little water lily didly. but it seems it's my turn. don't shrink or run. i feel like that. like someone has stood me in front of a blank canvas and has said 'paint something.'

but i won't run away dear friends, though i want to. slowly and with time i will with care choose the makings of a home. i've bought a wind chime for the window. i've always loved that faint surprise when a breeze comes by and the chimes join in the movement.

the image i've posted above somehow captures how i'm feeling. i feel like i'm in the midst of something lovely, and yet i'm not sure where i am. a sofa under magenta blooms in the middle of green, as if i'm there, comfortable, content, and wondering what now... in the best way.

maybe these words are confusing. i hope so because that's how i feel. as i can almost check off sweet home on my list, it leaves me with the courage and fear as i think what more dreams are on that list that just might come true.

i am deeply moved and continue to be touched by your words of encouragement. to you i do a little curtsy, and i thank you...

i will take & post more pics soon. the place is still boxed up, but the repairs are all done and the painting is just about completed. they will finish next week along with replacing the heating system. the idea of being warmer and cosier this winter is inviting.

i would like to buy the 'repair guys' a little gift. there are two of them. they came here and did their jobs really well and respectfully and i would like just to give them a token of appreciation. what do you give to two guys that you know nothing about really? if any of you have been patient enough to read this far (merci) please leave any suggestions if an idea passes your mind.

have a wonderful weekend and until soon

looking good

still in the midst of the works. it's looking good. thanks for all your well wishes and words of inspiration. ... hope you are doing gooood.

i long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever i find myself. ~maya angelou

goin' with the flow...

not too long ago i expressed a discontent about not having a space where i feel at home. many of you gave much needed words of encouragement, as well as some tips on how to make where i am a bit more nice. and then i wrote about how i had worked hard on a project and it did not turn out as i had hoped. this, though i suspect i had been thinking on this for a while, got me to thinking to not hold on so tight, ease up, take it easy. let go and see what comes of it. i'm a bit of a perfectionist, i like to get it right. though i suspect perfect does not exist.

as perfect does not exist, for the moment if i allow myself, i see a bit of an opportunity. let me explain. last month the landlord of the apartment where i live advised that she needed to visit the apartment with a city inspector. i 'think' this is a routine check up by the city to see that all the nuts and bolts are in place. though it is an old apartment, my biggest worry was finding the batteries to put back into the smoke alarm. (i know i shouldn't take them out, but the sound is so awful.)

well after that visit, the inspector informed that there were some repairs that needed to be done. he would return to insure the repairs have been done. though this apartment is old, it's clean and all works well. it's just not so pretty. and because i share this space i have never tried to push my agenda for 'prettiness.' plus, et une raison plus forte, the rent is incredibly inexpensive. and to get an apartment in new york that is not expensive is like finding a gold mine. so we never tried to push our luck in terms of having it modernised.

long story made just a tiny bit longer, we are having, starting tomorrow repairs being done. they will come in and fix up the plumbing, repair any cracks, and do a nice paint job. maybe, i'm not saying definitely, if i can let go of the resentment that i have harbored as a result of living in an ugly, although inexpensive apartment, after the repairs i can be a bit pushy about redecorating.

that said, i won't be able to write and visit here in blogland for a tiny bit. i'm thinking about a week or so. but i'll be back and let you know what's the sense after the repairs (wish me luck). and i'll even try and spend some time in places that sell pretty home stuff for ideas, inspiration and a bit of purchasing. i'm hoping to be able to pop in and visit the blogs i like to visit. so we'll see how much i am able to do that, as all is boxed up now in preparation for repairs. hopefully i can find a little corner at night with my lap top and drop in to say hello to any dear ones who have come this way.

be well! ...à bientot.

madame ballerina...

i just wanted to take this opportunity to wish a dear cyber friend, Madame Susu, best wishes, today, on her wedding day.