hello blog friends... at the last minute i decided to follow my hopes of spending some time in madrid. i am writing to you from spain. i lived in spain for some years and when i returned to new york of course i missed my friends and community that i had made. well... things are a bit stressed so i am remembering to breathe...

i had made plans for my living arrangements, and it looks like my plans are not going to work out as i had hoped. so i am on the search for summer accomodations. wish me luck.

in addition, the airline has lost my luggage. well... lost? they hope to find it, and then find me wherever i am to return it.

one small bag made it with me to madrid. in it i have my books, shoes, and a toothbrush. i am wondering how much more do i need. it all seemed kind of romantic. an ascetic kind of existence. but after wearing the same clothes things are not looking so romantic any more.

one friend urges me to go on a shopping spree. she says the airline will reimburse me. i´m too much of a scardey cat to do that. what if they don´t pay me back? then i will be out of the dough. but i am trying to stay calm and i am telling myself that all will be fine and i might even get some good lessons out of this for future wisdom to draw upon.

i´m hoping all is well with you and hopefully when i post again, i and things will be a bit more calm...

tomorrow and tomorrow...

today is tomorrow. feeling good again... thanks for your words of wisdom and well wishes! the sun is out and about today. it reminds me of something my niece said last weekend. she was jumping around and in a moment she said, 'auntie, i can't wait until tomorrow.' and i said, 'really? what's happening tomorrow.' and she said with excitement, 'i don't know...'

don't fight the feelin'

without exaggeration i get a headache about once a year, and today is the day and it's a pretty bad one. it's all rainy and gloomy outside and i got on my christmas lights inside to cheer me up. wonder what's going on... i like very much reading eastern philosophy. i could take the time to contemplate and philosphize about why do i have a headache, why the rainfall which i normally love seems gloomy today, and why i've reached for the soothing glow of soft white christmas lights...

but naaah. i won't fight the feeling this time. i'll just let it be. i'll just be...

judging judy

last summer i lost my sunglasses and i still have not replaced them. yesterday i set out to macys, which i think is the biggest department store here in nyc, it's huge! i found my way to the sunglass section. there, my eyes fell directly upon a lady that was hard to miss. she wore a little mini dress, her hair was long and pretty, all the right accessories and make-up in place and high heels. when i saw her i thought 'high maintenance.' i thought that i don't have the time or interest to look that well put together, add to that laziness. i said to myself 'stop being so judgemental.' so i stopped and behaved myself.

soon afterwards she wandered over to me and asked my opinion about a pair of sunglasses that she was trying on. i gave my opinion, and mentioned that she looked really pretty. i said you look like you have just stepped out of a magazine. she did. she blushed and after thanking me mentioned that she wanted to pick a pair of sunglasses for herself. she said that her husband always picks her sunglasses for her and she doesn't particularly like them. this time she was going to choose for herself and choose a pair finally, that she likes herself. i thought to myself 'you go girl!

in a moment of about a half hour we shared our time and space, trying on many different pairs of shades, chatting and giving our opinions. she was sweet. it was nice to share a moment with her. when all was said and done we both found a pair that we liked for ourselves very much and soon bid one another adieu.

i thought to myself... 'see. be nice, and don't be so judgemental.' i do try, but i slip up from time to time....

garden prowler

as a gesture of cheer i took some roses to my friend h. i mentioned before that she has twisted her ankle and she is on the mend. that afternoon the scent of the roses mingled with the incoming sunlight as we munched and chatted the afternoon away. i mentioned to her that whenever i smell roses it takes me back to being a little girl. i used to visit my grandmother every weekend. the lady who lived in the house next door kept a beautiful rose garden. i would wander over and literally sit in her garden and break off her roses. i was in heaven in the midst of the beautiful smells and the soft velvety touch of the petals. i would separate the petals and allow them to fall all over my legs and bare feet. the next door lady would catch me in her garden, scream at me and chase me out. i had no idea why, it was such a pleasure to be in such a special space...

it wasn't until i was older that i realised what i had done. can you imagine the work and care and commitment that goes into growing a rose garden only to have your flowers plucked up by some strange wandering little girl...

i've read that the part of our brain that is for scent is right next to the part for memories. the scent of roses always plops me right back to when i used to sneak into that rose garden...

the fragrance always stays in the hand

of the one who gives the rose.

~george william curtis

grace, graciousness...grateful

because of her graciousness and gentleness my friend h. reminds me very much of audrey hepburn. one afternoon in a sky high cafe in manhattan that over looks 5th afternoon, there i was sipping tea and reading. h. leaned over and mentioned that we happen to be reading the same book, and thus began our friendship.

one evening she invited me to her dinner party. i walked into her candle lit home filled with pretty music and friendly party people. she herself had prepared delicious food that spread from one end of her lengthy dining table to the other. she wore a soft cotton black ankle length dress as she mingled with her guests in her bare feet. it was a special evening. i only found out weeks later that there was a secret in the air. it was her birthday. rumour has it that she wanted to spend her special day with friends without the stress and pressure that can come when another birthday presents itself.... simply a celebration.








a red velvet cup cake kind of day...

this afternoon as we were to rendez -vous in soho for lunch. she is on the mend. she sprang her ankle. she called to say that she has made red velvet cup cakes and if i can come by her place to share with a cup of tea. it's hard for her to navigate the city with a bruised ankle.

... these angels come into our lives and catch us when we are mostly not looking.

i only hope that i can be a friend as well to those close to my heart. i've got some good examples...
dear friends... i hope you have a red velvet cup cake kind of day!