once around the block... this is advice i read for one wanting to begin to exercise. i thought this recomendation was ridiculous. what good can come from running or walking once around the block? the writer said that it is a beginning. a lame one at that, i thought, but it is indeed more than what i was doing. that winter morning i put on my jacket and hat as well as my sneaks and walked out into the brisk air. it was no fun, but i thought i should at least give it a chance. given a chance it does get to you, you start craving it. now i excercise for an hour at least four days a week. ...just once around the block. see what happens...
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
it's ridiculous how beautiful these october days are, but i have no complaints. i plan to enjoy as much as i can. i'll walk through central park today on my way to class. i really want to savor these days since i know how brutal new york can be in the winter. the cold will come and it doesn't let go until around late april for the most part.
i've nothing really special to say today, but for some reason i felt as if i wanted to write something very much, still i'm not sure why. these days i'm a little bit conscious of writing. there are two ideas that are knocking on my heart asking for expression. they even tell me in which way they want to present themselves. one is a poem. it hasn't told me as yet what it wants to say. i think it has to do with fantasy, or even the mystical if you will. i hesitate to use the word 'mystical' because i don't have a full understanding of it. maybe having to do with 'mystery' as well as a space or the existence of something that is difficult for me to wrap my mind around. anyway it assures me that it is light and fantastical and i am looking forward to it unfolding.
the other is an idea about the sacred and ritual. these i know can be spooky words, but no need to fear. i feel as if it has to do with the love, care and seriousness that we give to that which we care about, that which we love. as if, when we are consistent in care they can, and will grow in beneficial ways. for me personally, if i can become more caring and consistant about writing, which i adore, maybe i can become good at it. me and m talked a little about studying and becoming really good at something. i would like that very much. 'master of something' as opposed to 'jill of all trades...' it's like getting 'in the zone,' where you become one with your chosen subject, or that which has chosen you....
Sunday, October 21, 2007
...ventured out to wander around new york city yesterday. i did one of the things i have always loved doing as a new yorker, that is, to get up and go out with absolutely no idea where i'm going or what i plan to do. i suppose the city invites this kind of behavior with so much to do and see. i thought i'd let my mood guide me about. as i was making my way through the shopping crowds on 34th street i realised that i was quite near to the new york public library on 5th avenue and 42nd street. a perfect walk on a perfect 'spring like' day although it is mid to late october. i always forget about visiting the library, it's like a museum surrounded by books. what i mean to say is, there is delicious art work; sculpture and paintings and photographs sprinkled in amongst all those books. and everyone looks so smart and studious there in the quiet with their books and laptops. it's inspiring just to want to study and do something and be really really good at it!
i then wandered up 5th avenue and stopped in St. Patrick's Cathedral. you can see here how gorgeous the cathedral is with its majestic columns and rainbow colored stain glass windows. the crowds were not free to wander as we normaly can at this moment. i wondered why, what's going on? without exageration, the main sanctuary was roped off as a bride (gorgeous dress!) was about to begin her wedding march. i sat down in another part of the church and admired all the pretty dresses, smart suits and shiny shoes. i was tempted to think about marriage and what it might mean. ...and then i thought it may be too big a subject to 'ponder' on this bright big sunfilled breezy day. ...all you need is love?...
Thursday, October 18, 2007
'across the universe,' once i learned that Julie Taymor was the creator of this film, i didn't really care what it was about. she's an artist, once you become an admirer, you'll almost go blindly to what she creates. a nice surprise to find out that the film tells many stories to the music of the beetles. some say the story begs more depth. i'm not sure how i feel about this sentiment simply because for me, the film is a work of art. the story, music and visuals are so intertwined in such a remarkable, interesting and beautiful way, it's difficult for me to separate the elements. i do hope this film is playing at a cinema near you, or coming soon... it's an amazing experience. ...lucy in the skyyyy with diamonds...
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
this moment tender∙delicate, now
…where we are going.
(still) show me in your own way,
take your time,
quiet∙like, away from places
this one’s mine.
start inside∙inside soft soil
shy, away from unkind frost
for i’m partial to sun,
easy to grow, quick to blossom,
a profussse flowering, watch me.
gentle like∙whispered worries,
(sweet) comme une rime écrire doucement,
mentioned upon memory like
a baby’s breath.
bless me, please, bashfully
if you must, only
show me the space
where the brave go,
trembling towards transition
coo coo boom!
noise is silenced∙fear transformed,
and jealousy and envy
kneel down beside instinct.
breathe. again, a
only a new born can.
© audrey paradis
Friday, October 5, 2007
i’m thinking about the time when, as a girl of eleven or twelve, mom talked to me about some changes that will occur as i begin my entree into ladyhood. i thought i was ready, mom had told me about it, so i considered myself ‘prepped,’ prepared for the change so to speak. maybe i was, from a thinking point of view, but from an emotional point of view, maybe i wasn’t.
growing pains! i should i have known then that change can sometimes mean that it hurts? 'peut-être,' however, change may consist of various elements, some joyful, fun, interesting and exciting, as well as painful. sometimes all of these elements rolled into one at the very same time. complex may be the word…
keep growing quietly and seriously throughout your whole development~rainer maria rilke.
with autumn upon us, in various ways change is upon us with modifications as simple as ‘what will i wear this morning?’ the mornings and evenings now tend to be cool, but here in new york the afternoons are like summer days. we’re lucky this october.
in autumn we shift from outdoor and outgoing activities to perhaps more indoor, introspective doings. this change in season may inspire the making of plans for the winter months, the coming holidays, the coming year, and the coming years. who knows?
just as nature has its phases and seasons, so too our days, our lives. the natural world teaches us the power of transition. as seasons shift so does the quality and beauty of our existence.
an opportunity. as our moments flow, not unlike a melody, allowing a rhythm, a harmony to move through our days. creating a symphony of our lives as we learn grace, and the importance of tempo. recognising that there is a feel to seasons and a flavor to every time in our lives.
the promise of the seasons. it’s all good! no change is without the possibility of benefit. no transition, however displeasing or strenuous, fails to bring the goods.