i'm undone

hello there. it's saturday morning and the sky is big, cloudless and blue, and it's a beautiful cool morning here after rain storms yesterday. as i didn't bring my umbrella yesterday i ducked under an awning and watched the down pour. it's really nice when nature seems to put a stop to our doings and we are kind of forced to be still, and watch the rain fall.

there was a pregnant lady standing beside me in a pretty red dress with tiny white flowers. she stood there too watching the rain fall, and i thought of the wee one inside her wondering if s/he could hear the rain from in there.

i'd hoped the fixings here in the apartment would be completed by now. almost, but not quite. i am undone by the nice job they have done. the walls are clean and inviting, like a blank canvas. if only i could invite monet in to do a little water lily didly. but it seems it's my turn. don't shrink or run. i feel like that. like someone has stood me in front of a blank canvas and has said 'paint something.'

but i won't run away dear friends, though i want to. slowly and with time i will with care choose the makings of a home. i've bought a wind chime for the window. i've always loved that faint surprise when a breeze comes by and the chimes join in the movement.

the image i've posted above somehow captures how i'm feeling. i feel like i'm in the midst of something lovely, and yet i'm not sure where i am. a sofa under magenta blooms in the middle of green, as if i'm there, comfortable, content, and wondering what now... in the best way.

maybe these words are confusing. i hope so because that's how i feel. as i can almost check off sweet home on my list, it leaves me with the courage and fear as i think what more dreams are on that list that just might come true.

i am deeply moved and continue to be touched by your words of encouragement. to you i do a little curtsy, and i thank you...

i will take & post more pics soon. the place is still boxed up, but the repairs are all done and the painting is just about completed. they will finish next week along with replacing the heating system. the idea of being warmer and cosier this winter is inviting.

i would like to buy the 'repair guys' a little gift. there are two of them. they came here and did their jobs really well and respectfully and i would like just to give them a token of appreciation. what do you give to two guys that you know nothing about really? if any of you have been patient enough to read this far (merci) please leave any suggestions if an idea passes your mind.

have a wonderful weekend and until soon