most unusual...

when asked to think of my most unusual memory, for some reason a memory that never happened came to mind. i remember the first time i heard about the elephant march into manhattan, i thought how unusual, i want to see that. but then i remembered i never did go see the elephants as they came through and out of the queens midtown tunnel, as they do every year, on their way to madison square garden for the ringling bros. and barnum bailey circus. the thought of the elephants locked in the life of the circus when they

could be running free was heartbreaking. because the mind is a funny thing, at least mine is, i connected this thought and i shared the memory of when i was a little girl in second grade. we had a little puppy that got sick and for some reason it was taken away. i think i was too young to remember the details. i went to school the next day and put my head down on the desk and cried. mr. debellous could not stop me from crying. he called my mom, and she came to talk to me. i remember standing there in the hallway, outside the classroom as she explained to me what had happened and somehow i understood that the puppy was going to be alright. my heart lifted and i could smile again. i wonder what she said, i don't really remember. but for some strange reason i keep my distance from all animals. i think somewhere in my little heart i'm afraid to fall in love with them again, as they may be taken away.

some years ago, i was asked to go the circus. i said 'i don't like the circus,' even though i had never been. i was talked into going to cirque de soleil. this circus i love. it's creative and beautiful and i felt like that little girl who finally had her chance to go to the circus.

first image above from cirque de soleil and baby elephant from m. skovgaard