Tuesday, November 11, 2008

do tell… s’il vous plaît

dear friends, i've a question for you... have you any insight into the idea that some people can leave you feeling blessed and elated, while some, on the other hand leave you feeling as if all the air has been let out of your balloon, and you are not sure why?

this happens to me. i can leave the presence of someone and feel on top of the world. and the feeling i get from others is as if i have been hit by a thing, and all the wind has been knocked out of me. and i've got to spend some time putting the pieces of my heart back together.

when i look at the situations, i can't put my finger on a particular something, but i know i feel a certain way.

do tell if you have any insight, i'd be ever so appreciative...
image de kittypinkstar


La Belette Rouge said...

I do know what you mean. And, I do think it is about an energy requirement and a capacity for reciprocity. I do feel that some people not only require all the air in the room they also want the air from your lungs.

The ones that leave my feeling light and easy seem self sustained and they don't NEED with a capital N. The ones that leave me feeling on top of the world seem to have an energy of abundance of self-love, self-acceptance and all over grooviness.

p.s. I feel that same feeling with some blogs. And, your blog always leaves me feeling that lovely exhale feeling that I have described before.

l'air du temps said...

la belette, thanks so much for your incredibly intelligent insight. i must admit i am moved by the idea that my blog leaves you with a lovely feeling. i hope and like that a lot.

if you happen to pop in this space again, let me know a bit more by what you mean by 'an energy requirement and a capacity for reciprocity.' i have an idea but wanted to open that idea up a bit.

thanks a big bunch for your message, it helps me a great deal as i've just had one of those deflating encounters. your words lend air that fills!

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

Some people are light and some people are dark. It's important, I think, to surround oneself with the light ones.

Thanks for commenting! Edward and I welcome you back anytime!

Susu said...

Dear Audrey,

I know what you mean. People whose presence leaves us emotionally squeezed are the kind who want to fix your life without really knowing it, who are not as gentle as you are, who want to pour out their problems onto you but expect you to keep your helping thoughts to yourself, to remain passive, and that is when the uncomfortable sentiment starts. No one should be at the mercy of a downpour if they cannot even say a word to help. I don't like feeling helpless, and people who give that kind of depressive impression of this world get me down, if they succeed.

People who lift me up are the ones who help you to be who you want to be, whose words are kind and inspiring. They are people who are soft and gentle, honest and simple, even humble.

I agree with La Belette Rouge that your blog is definitely the kind of space that leaves me uplifted. It is full of grace and beauty. Be encouraged my friend, there are still a lot of good people in this world. And even the not so easy ones have their good days.

La Belette Rouge said...

Some people want not just our time. But, they require our space and our energy. They suck something out of others, think emotional vampire, as they feel they are not enough and so they want your energy too. Others, who leave us feeling uplifted are coming from a place of surplace energy and feel so good in themselves they are able to contribute to others without feeling depleted. Well, that is this weasels sense of it.;-)

So happy to add to the air and I appreciate how you do too.:-D

Julianne said...

I know exactly what you speak of. I used to give these negative people grace and think they didn't know. But I think they do know. It's as if they like to say the very thing that will twist the knife. I hate to be cynical, but I think it's true. I call it sucking the joy out of life.

What I have learned to do is mentally shut them out when they do that. Or, give them a short response and change the subject. I try to limit my time around people who do this. It can be difficult, especially if it's a friend.

l'air du temps said...

wow ladies you have given me much food for thought and! comfort for me wee heart...thank you so much.

pamela terry and edward, i appreciate your frankness. many times i can turn a negative encounter over and over in my mind and maybe the thing is just to know, as you said the difference between persons who are light and dark and stay away from the dark ones.

Dear Susu, i sense from your words that you too have had this experience. your words about people who's presence leaves us emotionaly squeezed fits my feeling exactly. i feel as if i can't think straight or breathe right because of their actions. i really can't stand this feeling.

and then on the other hand, there are those who leave us inspired and encouraged and grant us the space and help to become more ourselves.

i so often repeat myself, but i always appreciate your appreciation of the beauty that fills our days. with that said, it reminds me to think about and be around positivity. it is vital.

la belette, got it, thanks! i understand more clearly now, and 'emotional vampire' is a perfect discription. it stops me in my tracks to think of how people can suck so much out and not want to share a drop of love or positive energy. maybe they don't have it to give, which is why they feed off of others.

and as for others who share and give off positive energy and lifts us up, i have had this experience. i see now that i have to be more vigilant about who i am around.

Julianne, so right, they do take the joy out of life. i was happy and excited and then i felt down, depleted and i began to question myself. that's it, the joy was sucked out.

you offer some good practical actions that can be taken when this happens. i promise myself i will practice them. to mentally shut them out. it will take some practice but i think this is the way to do it.

ladies, again thank you. i felt as if i had been kicked in the stomach. here in this space i could write about it, and you have helped me to see into the situation and given me tools to protect myself.

it's been a long road to getting to some sense of wellness with myself. i've just got to learn to protect that from persons who thrive on taking it all without even a thought of a kind or inspiring word.

i'll have to put up my superwoman shield and flee the scene, not necessarily out of fear, but for more than want of a more beautiful scene...

Lavinia said...

Hi Audrey, I see I am a little late on this post, but I thought I would throw my two cents in. The truth is, there are many such people out there, and saddest of all is if they are in your own family. I speak from experience. Some people are like a black cloud. They carry this atmosphere with them, and when you are around them, some of the black cloud covers the sunshine that was meant to shine on you, or was shining on you just a moment before! You can be in a good mood, and then when you come into the prescense of these people, the good mood vanishes and bleakness and hopelessness sets in!!
What is the antidote? I wish I knew! It can take time to 'shake off' the effects of such a person. If at all possible, avoid such people. If that is not possible, then try to limit the time you must spend around them.

This can be difficult, if it is someone whom circumstances force you to be in their vicinity on a regular basis.

Dear Audrey, my heart goes out to you....I am now going to read your latest post....see how it turned out...?

nurii said...

Acabo de leer tus últimos posts. Espero que estés mejor. Es increíble la complicidad que lográis entre los "blogueros". Cuídate mucho y no olvides que vives en una ciudad maravillosa y que eres capaz de lo que te propongas.

Besicos. nuri