just finished reading 'twilight' the novel. i liked it a lot. to be honest i don't want to think about it too much, then i'd have to figure out a way to justify my enjoyment of these 'vampire chronicles.' just an enjoyable read. i realised something about myself along this read. but just to go back a minute, when i was a little girl i used to sit and watch casablanca over and over with my aunt. we would have detailed discussions about the fashion. you can imagine there was much to talk about. i always remember a scene in the film when ingrid bergman lays her head on humphrey bogart's shoulder. she's in tears as she says something about him deciding for the both of them. she can't think anymore. and she would do whatever he decides. i remember as a teenager thinking, why can't she think for herself? why can't she make her own decisions about her own life. i was raised very much as an independent woman, doing and deciding for myself.
in connection, i was surprised when a very high powered lawyer friend said to me over lunch one day, that these days she's very much 'the damsel in distress,' 'rescue me!' she has no interest in doing it all on her own.
me personally, not doing it on my own has never been on the map in my mind. but i am surprised these days when i get to thinking i wouldn't mind being rescued. i know! how surprising. what i mean is, scoop me up, treat me sweet, and let's talk about how we can together sweeten our days. no longer do i feel like i want to go it alone. and no longer do i feel like it is necessary. much of these thoughts came to surface as i would swoon over the male main character in 'twilight' as his thoughts were in caring for and pleasing her. i like this idea.