wrote a little poem this mornin'

your showing up was

perfect
you had no reason to be nervous

though to be nervous is normal

and human

you are perfectly

you

~audrey

be kind and rewind...

i had an incident which reminded me of the first time audrey hepburn and carey grant met, though the outcome was not as lovely. yesterday while reading in a cafe i accidently spilled my beverage onto a stranger's off white suede jacket! can you believe it? it was one of those moments that seemed to happen in slow motion. i saw my drink slide off the table, suspend mid-air for a moment, before settling on said stranger's jacket before finding its way onto the floor. i wish i could take back that moment, rewind and have a different outcome. but i guess it just doesn't work that way. i jumped from my seat to apologise to mr. stranger but i felt as if words could not fix this moment, though i wanted to so badly. i did apologise sincerely, searched nearby for napkins to wipe up the mess. since we were strangers and i had obviously pissed him off i did not dare try to touch his jacket. i was stunned and could hardly speak. mostly and sincerely i was sorry this had happened, and i said so. he was deeply angry. he was steaming, his eyes and body language reeked of anger. but mostly i could tell because he completely ignored me. he did not look at me at all, nor respond to my words. he completely ignored my existence. i supposed at this moment he thought i was the scum of the earth and he treated me so. there was no communication, and i did not know what i could do to try to make it better. it occured to me later that night while still obsessed with the situation that maybe we could have traded contact information and i could have paid for the cleaning bill. i didn't know what to do.

i told m. about what had happened. i needed to talk about it. m. said 'forget him if he does not want to acknowledge your presence, then there is no opportunity for communication. what are you supposed to do then??? these things happen. life happens...'

breathe... i had to let this one go. i could not undo it no matter how sorry i was.

this reminded me of the time when audrey hepburn and carey grant met for the first time. they agreed to meet at a certain cafe in paris, it was just before they were to make the film charade together. audrey, while waiting for carey to arrive ordered a glass of red wine.

shortly after, carey arrived wearing a white suit.

well he is carey grant, and what else would you wear when meeting audrey hepburn for the first time in a paris cafe? well, she was so nervous to meet him that when she stood to greet him she tipped the glass of red wine that was on her table all over his suit. without missing a beat, he removed his jacket, folded it across the back of his chair, and continued with their meeting. grace is in abundance probably more often than we think. i would like to remember that.

speaking of grace, i sense the wintertime is giving way to springtime. this is the natural order of things, no... funny how we, or least i am reluctant to let go of summertime as autumn presents itself. but when spring is emerging i am excited and eager... spring is on the way and i must admit i am waiting with an open heart. normally i walk around the house in my socks...

for some reason i don't care for house slippers. i feel more free with nothing on my feet in the house. but baby when it's cold outside i am forced to at least where socks when i'm inside at home. i've learned to know the seasons are changing because unconsciously i'll start to walk around in my bare feet...

like i did this weekend. we had heavy rain storms and i snuggled in on friday and saturday. still i roamed around bare foot unconsciously. when i noticed and counted the days 'til spring, only 10 remain. sweet. the flowers are pushing their way up as we speak...

indeed it has been an interesting weekend. hope you and yours are well.

Sundays

"What matters in life is that you make love with someone you care about on Sunday Morning and walk out with them on Sunday Afternoon."