(no haven't been to Paris this time...)it's been only a week since i've last been here. it feels longer. maybe because i haven't had the chance to pop 'round and see what you all have been up to. funny how i miss you when i am away. funny how i miss writing. funny how i get to thinking 'what shall i write about next?' it's a privilege in a way if these are the thoughts that fill my mind these days. i've a sprinkling of other things going through my mind as well. if it's ok, i'll share them in a bit. but my light thoughts, undeep thoughts, have come about recently. i tend to obsess about things. i want to get it as right as possible. but recently when i've had something that i worked on really hard not turn out as i had hoped, i just thought that i will stop trying so hard. not necessarily in a don't care attitude, more so in a more fluid way of existing. what i mean to say is, instead of obsessing over stuff, i will try my best, and 'que sera sera'. and, i give myself permission and time to indulge in things i like without considering these little loves frivilous. it's especially necessary i think, as well in nyc culture where so much is about productivity and making money. a girl definitely has to give herself permission to indulge in stuff that makes her smile...
some friend's of m. came to visit. in allowing myself to be honest, i don't care for them too much. they tend to come take over the place in an incredibly inconsiderate way. so i just skipped town for a couple of days.
i:
1. stayed in a pretty b & b just outside of town
some friend's of m. came to visit. in allowing myself to be honest, i don't care for them too much. they tend to come take over the place in an incredibly inconsiderate way. so i just skipped town for a couple of days.
i:
1. stayed in a pretty b & b just outside of town
2. browsed shops with beautiful home decor stuff
3. hung out in book stores until they started preparations for closing
4. ate 'comfort food' as i am nursing a broken tooth that is being mended
5. reading a cool book about an australian finding his way in paris. i'm beginning to wonder if i am dreaming of having the 'awful privilege' of finding my way about paris.
6. took a conversation class with a french teacher (didn't go so well but i'll keep tryin')
7. upon return met with some folks at a house warming party and relished in the idea that i'm becoming more comfortable in my own skin. i didn't find a corner to hide out in...
hope you and yours are doing good these summer days...
3 comments:
Hi Audrey!
I think that you did wisely leaving town. We don't have to do more than we can. You are enough just the way you are. It's funny that you say you're nursing a tooth. So am I. Courage mon amie!
Loving this entry. Except for the broken tooth part, of course. But everything else sounds wonderful.
Yes, please share what you wish, as you wish. As it feels best, to/for you. {Actually, I like those 2 sentences, as a full blueprint for life. -smile- As much as possible, of course.}
And I'm so glad you are seeing your way clear to do a more fluid way of existing. Oh yes, to all you wrote, on this.
And how wonderfully wise to skip out on the inconsiderate visitors. Yes... Wonderfully wise.
Hope the tooth is mended soon...
Gentle hugs,
Miss Mari-Nanci
Smilnsigh
Photos-City-Mine
Although you may not have made any money, I still think the last few days were productive. Sounds like you did 'just for you' in a very nice and comforting way, and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, there is a lot that is absolutely right about that! I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you do it again soon!
I like your new 'relaxed' philosophy....
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