thing is, there's always a reason not to write. i learned that some time ago. some years ago i had a cyst on my eye and i was scheduled for minor surgery to remove it. i was in university at the time and that afternoon i had an appointment to meet with my advisor. i thought the little surgery would be a snap, then i'd go and meet my advisor afterwards regarding a writing assignment i had. turned out the little surgery was more painful and bloody than i thought. i left the doctors office with a bit of a shiner and in deep pain. why didn't i know that even though the removal of the bump on my eye was nothing serious, that whole part of the face is incredibly sensitive around the eye, and the eyelids. how painful.
i was in too much pain to go through my meeting with my advisor, i went by his office to tell him so and to make my apologies. he was sympathetic, but saw no reason not to have our meeting. i felt i couldn't go on, but he insisted. it would only take 5 minutes to give me my writing instructions, he let me know. that was a painful 5 minutes. then, there, i thought, there is always a good reason not to write. much can claim our time and attention.
my eye healed nearly perfectly. that was the plan. while at the eye doctor, when first having the little bump on my eye examined, the doctor specifically said he was going to send me to a specialist. i remember his words as he hovered over me looking closely at my eyelid, shining that light just brightly. he said 'when this is removed, you want this to look like it was never there.' the specialist did an excellent job, only i can see the miniscule scar, because i know just where to look. ...our scars remind us of where we've been. i have a real nice one on my knee that i call my italian scar. i got it on a train ride from rome to naples one lovely morning, ...but that's a different story.
and here we are again, another reason not to write. here in the big city we are having our first real snow fall. the snow is pretty and soft, floating down silently these pre-Christmas days. thought i sit down and write a bit, and then i saw the snow fall. the first one! i want to be out in it. ...what about writing? hmmm...
sweet saturday dear You!