Monday, November 16, 2009
for some reason i thought if i were to become a mother i would be very much like the mother in gilmore girls. not sure why i think that, but there it is. maybe it has something to do with trying to figure out where to draw the line between mom and friend, because i'd want both. i'd love to be both a loving mother and friend to my daughter.
i used to love love love watching gilmore girls on television. i suppose it has something to do with a loving and fun mother who is a friend. another big part of it is that they live in a small town where everyone knows one another, it's pretty there with pretty homes and a town diner where you can pop in and have your favorite pancakes and a nice cup of hot tea with milk. and too when you walk in they're glad to see you and they say so.
i'd sit and watch gilmore girls and think, yup, that's a place i would like to live.
but i guess it really depends on your story right? i know folks who grew up in small towns and they let me know bluntly that it's not all pretty and cosy as it seems. no? i ask, bewildered...
that's the thing though i am discovering these days. i can imagine all sorts of lovely and cutsy things about places and beings, and then when you step out into the real world, you run smack dab into folks who lend out ugliness and pain in a heartbeat... it's part of our reality.
i mentioned in a comment once that when given the opportunity to look at evil, i'd rather go in the other direction, and i still would rather do so.
still there comes a time when we must be grownups and open our eyes to the hurts and injustices, small and not so small, that there is.
that's all i want to say really. i can go on and on in a story or on a subject and come to a point, i'd like to think. but here right now, that's all i want to say really.
i've had my share of heartbreak, and that does not only mean matters of the heart. there's been stuff with family and enviornment, situations that break the heart and stunt one's growth. when people know my full story they say... how did you make it out? i tell them i fell through the cracks. there have been the right people in the right places at the right time who stretched forth a hand and helped me out. and that still happens. you, dear reader do that for me as well.
i think that is why i go on and on here about writing and wanting to lend a hand. i know how important it is, how it can touch a person's life in the most beautiful ways. and i love returning a favor.
i think in a way this space, lair du temps, is so dreamy cause it's a place for me to indulge the butterflies of my imaginings, and too, to lend some sweetness to our complicated existence...