the subconscious is a funny thing. the truth is, i walked into a karate studio and asked about beginning karate lessons. i was pretty strong in my conviction for needing to learn and know how to defend myself at that moment. this was some months ago. what surprises me now that the time has passed, is that i can see something more clearly now. that is, i was hanging around with someone that i found hurt me a lot by many of the things she said and did. i'd tell myself not to be so sensitive...
she moved away and the moment she left town i felt more at peace. that strong desire to take karate lessons dissapated, though i did not make the connection between wanting and needing to learn to defend myself and the time i spent with her.
she's an incredibly interesting and intelligent lady, i was always enthralled by what she had to say or the activities we'd plan for playing around the city. but she had a way of saying hurtful things, and i'd try and brush it off. still i found it strange when i walked into that karate studio that day.
it seems our hearts tell us what we wish to not believe with our minds...
3 comments:
What is wonderful is that you are and have moved on, and you are seeing the beauty of the moment more and more.
Surrounding yourself with people that build you up, instead of tearing you down, is a key factor. Yet I know how difficult it is to say of someone that they are not good for us. You must be like me in wanting to think that everyone is unique, wonderful and of value. But maybe that is life's wisdom in accepting that after all, not all people do us the greatest of favors in regards of mental and other stability. And then again, luckily there are lots who are truly nice and uplifting... let's concentrate on them!
I find most spiteful, mean people to be lacking in a good sense of self. When they see you shine, they think of ways to bring you down. We have but one chance at life, we shouldn't surround ourselves with people who undermine us and begrudge us our happiness. They are not worth our time.
The things we want, I believe, always have a meaning. A karate lesson is rarely just a karate lesson. I am so happy you no longer have people in your life who make self protection feel necessary.xoxo
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